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oh no i didn't,

Sep. 16th, 2010 | 09:03 am
mood: aggravatedaggravated

i somehow lost or left my jukebox at my boyfriend's place.either way,i am not too keen in being apart from my player for i have college next week.since i don't have much of a social life there,i normally just lazed out at the library listening to random hardcore bands in my jukebox.

i hate losing things.i hate feeling stupid.nor do i enjoy knowing that i am responsible for the loss.fuck.FUCK.FUCKKKKKKK.

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the night was young.

Sep. 16th, 2010 | 08:53 am
mood: awakeawake
music: benea reach-new waters

but i feel that we're getting older.spending too much of our nocturnal lives doing simple things yet meant a lot more to us than we ever knew.i had my several doubts,mostly triggered by my trust issues and this paranoia i have against kids my age and ending up like them.but somewhere in my mind i decided to numb those hatreds down.perhaps somehow i knew things might end up okay.perhaps somehow i knew that i have a future.but for the most of it i knew you will be there by my side.both as friends and lovers.

i don't know what i want,where i am going.i even have a harder time knowing who i am and what i might end up to be.fun only feels fun when your worries are far away.but if they're still there,you only end up feeling lost and confuse.i try not to think too much but i just can't help it.i am afraid.afraid of being incomplete and being imperfect.




but i mustn't worry myself away.and i mustn't think too much.i should live this life and embrace it.even for it's flaw.

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oh subtle days.

Sep. 9th, 2010 | 03:35 pm
mood: blankblank



ate a lot today.listened to my childish playlist.and i am once again on the verge of cutting my hair again.that and that i am having the worst writer's block ever again today.

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a change of address.

Sep. 9th, 2010 | 03:31 pm
mood: excitedexcited

i am probably doing this backwards as most people normally migrate from livejournal to blogspot since blogspot is a more interactive and a no-brainer blogsite,but knowing the random unstable person i am,i don't do so well doing the "same old same old".i don't actually have a specific reason for this grand shift but the fact that livejournal has better templates does play a big part.oh and that there's that mood thingy you get to pick on every posts.other than those are probably because i find that i needed a change.this is something like a new haircut but since i've grown my hair to the point where cutting them will bring me massive disappointment,i decided that changing my blog address would pretty much CUT IT.one thing for sure is that i will certainly miss all the wonderful followers i've had in my latter blogspot.but not to be worried,i do intend to gather some here as well(OR NOT,the fuck with this shit).

since this is my first post i think i need an introduction.HELLO THERE,MY NAME IS EFF.i am a leo.i listen to anything but by anything i actually meant experimental senseless music.my itunes consists mostly of chaotic hardcore and mathcore bands if not some random indie bands from the middle of nowhere.i have 12 cats.i used to be a fan of piercings,but now on my subtle adult days,i try to look formal enough so i could get a job and get tattoos instead.i am in college and i wasn't too keen on telling everyone what my major is because i was afraid that i might change my mind again,but after 3 times changing my major,i decided to stick to psychology and communication.i am an avid reader of young adult fictions.i normally read about screwed up kids because i can relate to them more.i suck at media as most times i don't really know what's playing on the radio.i have a bad habit of writing things in un-capitalized letters but i do check for grammars and spelling errors.i get neurotic,senseless and confuse a lot even as a 19 year old.i spend my free time scribbling on my notebook if not reading some silly books.i don't do too well with strangers but i am okay if you know me.i talk a lot and i swear a tonne.i have bad body issues.i have the fear of growing old.i eat once a day.i feel alone even when i do have people around me.i watch reruns of my favorite movies.i always wished i was back at the grunge era.i have no political standpoint because i don't believe in a "system".i constantly shift back and forth between being an atheist or an agnostic.

hrmmm...i don't know what else i should write here but i guess you'll find out more once i start posting crapps in here.til then,have a great week folks.

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